Adventures on Hospital Hill 2008

OK, the news first. I tanked on the hill. I walked it up.

But don't go all consoling me, 'cause I don't want it. Here. At this point in my running career it's a gain to find out where the bottom of my energy tank is. And the only way to find out is to get out there and run hard runs. I ran my run.

So, am I disappointed? Well, sure. But not in an awful way. (When did I get so much stronger than the ridiculing voices in my head? That's the big Wow.) I mean, recovery from a 5K is so fast. Twenty minutes after a race like this, walking around just fine, it's impossible not to be wondering if I really gave it all I had. But yeah.

With about a quarter mile of hill to go, I overheated in the 89% humidity and started to cramp. I still had my legs (though I'm not sure for how much longer); I still had my lungs and my heart. I even had my mental steel. But my spleen had other ideas. It seemed to be creasing like a paper accordion and my forehead went white hot. I ran a little way like that and then decided I don't know my body well enough yet to know where the line between stubborn and stupid is.

"I know my goal for next year," I said to N. in the car.
"But you could come back and run it next week if you want to," he said.

The thought of it just about knocked me over. I'm not ready for it yet; I know I'm not. I give it a month.

(Cross-posted from A Sunny Hello.)