Title only, no pay raise

OK, this has nothing to do with anything.

I have been having apocalyptic dreams, where civilization is crumbling and we are reverting to tribal societies. In the suburbs. So it didn't surprise me to dream that we had fallen under a repressive regime.

The government's new regulation was that every business had to start collecting data on how much employees were shitting every day. How much shit (and that was the word for it) was being produced and flushed down the toilets of the American Work Force, how often, with what regularity? This was very important, we were told.

So they sent forms to every business, and every company had to designate someone to fill out the forms. This person was to be known as the "shitler."

The form was called the "shitlet." And I had the shitlet in my hand, and was thinking, Aaaaagh No Not Me, but the very obvious protest gesture did not occur to me, frankly, until just now.