Next, I get wet and take it off

In less than two weeks, I will be standing at the cold, muddy, goose poopy edge of Heritage Park Lake with a couple hundred other triathletes who just cannot bear to wait the one more week for the KC Tri.

I have to learn to put on a wetsuit for this. Of course I would not deprive you of the potential for watching me fall down in a botched bondage of neoprene and lycra.

This is Elise, your videographer and the first friend we made after moving to Kansas eleven years ago. Elise rocks my world. Elise, who started running in February, ran her first 10-minute mile today. Then, because why not, she ran two more of them that fast. That happened today! Big day! "I feel like I could FLY over to your house!" she says on the phone.

The following film has been approved for all audiences, and:

  • Does not show how hard Elise was shaking with the giggles.

  • Features music dubbed in as a surprise by my debonair and sardonic N. Yes, he IS proud to say I'm his buttercup.

  • Should give you some idea how funny it is watching 200 people do this in transition before a race.

Thanks,*, for doing such a fantastic job sizing the suit! It's perfect. I feel like a life raft in it. Now please put your hands over your eyes and your fingers over your ears.

Wetsuit Tip: trim your fingernails or be extra careful when you start tugging. Neoprene gouges like cream cheese. It's a fright to look down and see a tiny nick in the suit., you didn't hear any of that, did you? Great.

*Attentive viewers will note that I give the URL in the video as No matter; either way resolves to the correct web site. Check 'em out if you're not ready to buy your suit — great price, prompt shipping, clear information, good suit.


Zoolander said...

So that's what happens in Tri's. Far out.

Anonymous said...

Next time you do some crazy demonstration, please prepare multiple cameras from different angles so the American public (myself included) can enjoy a spliced-together video from all perspectives. On behalf of America, thank you in advance.

Anonymous said...

That was fabulous! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. You made me laugh and I was not laughing AT you, but rather with you.

Thank you for being brave enough to show all of us how to put on a wetsuit with style!

Anonymous said...

Ha I love it. Been there done that. :) You rock.

Anonymous said...

Good job! I didn't know about the plastic bags and would have completely fallen over. You're awesome!

Ann Pai said...

Hey, anonymouses! Cool that you stopped by and left a comment. Anonymous #1 - laughing AT me is not only welcome but hoped for! Heh. Anonymous #3 - on race day I ended up not using the plastic bags and couldn't tell that it made much difference. Try both ways in your practice and see what you think.

Anonymous said...

Hey Cofoundingpounding,
Pretty sure she wasn't looking for an award in videography. I think she was sharing an "unspliced" experience in a light hearted, warm and geniune manner. So, on behalf of the American public (including myself)and others who appreciate contibuting to society in a none judgemental tone...thank you in advance.

Ann Pai said...

Anonymous, on the contrary. I am always looking for awards. I love awards.

Anonymous said...

...And the winner of The Most Personable Wetsuit Wearer goes to........Ann Pai.
I am doing my first open water swim in July and I can tell you there will be NO video, photos or even court room sketch artist ON hand to witness my first attempt at sporting this contraption.
For me, putting on stockings is a private event.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say "Thnak You" to you and your videographer for making this instructional and very entertaining video. I loved watching it. It brough back memories of the first time I put on a wetsuit. I hope you are going to do a sequel entitled "removing a wetsuit", as I found that almost more difficult than putting it on. Thank you again for putting a smile on my face.